


Dead inside

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aka me trying to write poetry and failing, Bullying, Death, Louis-centric, M/M, Poetry, Short Story, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Pop' went the gun<br/>Then he was dead.</p><p> </p><p>TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE<br/>Read at own risk! If you feel uneasy after reading, leave a comment and I will try to help you.<br/>Stay safe!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Poem

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Muse bc they're bæ ;) Dead inside is a great song ahh...  
> So hello, I'm back! Still not quite okay but I think this time venting through writing might actually work.  
> Like I said in the summary, read at own risk and please get some help if you start feeling bad! I am always here to listen.
> 
> I think this story reflects the way I feel in a way, dead on the inside, insults thrown at me even though they're not, everything's just a blur.

He was broken beyond return  
No one could stop him, not even the girls  
He cocked the gun to his own head  
Screamed loudly again  
'Pop' went the gun  
Then he was dead  
There was no end  
His body wasn't dead  
His mind drifted off to his nightmare  
It wasn't even a nightmare, he wanted it to happen  
He felt himself sadden,  
Pry the arms off of him  
Ignore the grumpled 'morning'  
Walk to the kitchen  
Take a knife and kill himself  
But there was no him  
Hadn't been since the beggining  
When people started to lie  
'You're such a good guy'  
Then he became so shy  
'You should just die'  
He believed them  
So there he is lying in the kitchen  
With a crying boyfriend  
A knife through his neck  
A dead body instead  
Matching the mind he had


	2. The Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh forgot to say that this is also on my Wattpad so if you see it on wattpad it's probably me!   
> And if it isn't I will be very flattered that someone cared enough to steal my work!

"You've told me to die every day for the last four years so that's what I'm going to do. Thank you for making me realise how terrible I am" Louis pressed the gun against his head.

"I hope you'll get your pathetic life together after taking mine" He said before pulling the trigger.

There was a bang and then it was quiet. A body fell to the floor and the screaming started.

Nobody cares unless you're pretty or dead. And now he's dead on both the inside and outside.


	3. The Death

Louis jumped up from the bed, sick and tired of living. Looked once again at his curly headed boyfriend before running as fast as he could to the kitchen.  
"You deserve this", said the voices, "you deserve to die, you deserve to suffer. You don't deserve Harry you fucking fag!"  
Little did he know those words were words of jealousy. Everyone was jealous of him. He was gorgeous, was in his dream job, had a beautiful boyfriend, supportive little sisters, more money than he could possibly care of and a heart big enough to help millions.  
He was funny, everyone loved him. Everyone, or so they thought everyone did. He didn't love him, the only one he loved so how could he love himself when the one you would take a bullet for didn't care at all.

And then he was standing in the kitchen, his mind full of hatred, of words thrown at him. The knife slipped and dipped through his skin. His body slammed against a towel, painted pink.  
His boyfriend found him a few hours later in the same spot, tears flowing, no other words in his head except "I can't."  
"I can't believe you would, I can't believe you could. I can't believe you thought, thought that I could, could ever live without you, without your love, without your hold, without your eyes and your smile, your sassiness or your happiness."  
Harry pecked his dead lover's lips and joined him with the weapon from Lou's nightmare, wich turned out to not be a nightmare after all.

Everything is real while nothing is real. Everyone is happy while no one truly is. Everyone is sad while they smile and laugh. But what is sadness and what is happiness?  
After all those words are just a group of letters and a mumble of sounds. And us humans, we're just meat attached to bones and bones attached to lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops :)


End file.
